You're not Alone
by orangepencils
Summary: It's the first Christmas after the war and Harry feels as though he doesn't belong with the Weasleys'.


**You're not Alone**

**Last one of the Christmas series, but not the last of the holiday series. So this is the Harry Potter one. Inspired because I got HP5 for Christmas and I kept thinking of book 7. (Also because I had to re-re-read the last chapter, but that's a long story.) Anyways, here it is, enjoy it and eum see you on the 31****st****!**

**208**

**Disclaimer: It's almost Christmas Eve as I am typing this.**

**Summary: It's the first Christmas after the war and Harry feels as though he doesn't belong with the Weasleys'. HxG, fluff, comfort.**

You're not Alone

Harry had always hated the holiday season. At first it had been because the Dursleys' had made it completely miserable for him. Things had changed once he had arrived at Hogwarts what seemed to be ages ago. For almost seven years he had been able to say that he had enjoyed Christmas, but now things were back at square one. Voldemort had been vanquished, but too many had perished during the war. People who clearly did not deserve the faith that they had received. Harry had been ready to pass the holidays alone at Grimmauld Place with Kreacher, but Mrs. Weasley had insisted and had even suggested using forces if she had to get him at the Burrow.

That was how he found himself in Ron's bedroom staring at the ceiling. It was already four o'clock in the afternoon and everyone was getting ready for the Christmas feast. Harry had told them that he was feeling under the weather so he was going to rest for a while. He felt so out of place being in this house with people that cared for him when they shouldn't. After all, it was his entire fault that Fred was dead. Sometimes, Harry wished that he had perished sooner or that he would have gotten rid of Voldemort earlier. Maybe some lives would have been spared. Maybe Teddy wouldn't be an orphan. Maybe he would still have a godfather. Maybe… he didn't want to think anymore. It was too painful and he wasn't ready to confront his demons just yet. For now he would simply ignore them. He would ignore everything around him. He didn't deserve to be alive. He had been the one to wear the mark; he alone should have been the one to suffer.

The boy who lived tossed and turned in the extra bed that was added into Ron's bedroom until an uneasy sleep came to greet him. He was plagued by nightmares and visions of the torture and pain that each individual that had died in the war had gone through. His imagination was running wild, so wild that it would show him the despair of the loved ones of these individuals. He wanted everything to stop. He wanted to leave this nightmare, but he couldn't seem to wake up. Someone was calling his name. He tried to touch the voice, but all his hand met was air. There was nobody there. He was alone. Everything was going dark around him as the voice grew stronger and the images got clearer. Finally, something icy cold hit him and his eyes snapped open.

He was startled to see Ginny standing above him with a bucket that was dripping a transparent liquid onto the floor. She put the bucket down and wrapped her arms around him. At first Harry tensed up by the sudden bold gesture, but he quickly melted into it and relaxed. He let his emotions loose as tears pricked his eyes and voyaged down his cheeks. It was the same thing every time he had a nightmare. It was always the same one. It was as though Voldemort was haunting him in his dreams. Harry wondered if it was just an illusion, a trick from his mind or if somehow the connection between him and Tom Marvolo Riddle had remained alive.

As he sobbed on Ginny's shoulder, she patted his back in soothing gestures until he quieted down. This routine had happened a lot during the first few weeks after the final battle and Harry had been a real pack of nerves. Often he would wake up the entire household as he screamed to spare them in his sleep. A good mug of warm milk with honey courtesy or Mrs. Weasley had done the trick to get him back to sleep, but there had been a short period of time when Harry had refused to sleep. He didn't want to be plagued by his nightmares. He wanted to make sure that what he was seeing during daytime wasn't a dream and that things could finally go back to what they were supposed to be.

"Harry, you don't have to stay locked up in your room like this. You can come downstairs with us." She told him calmly. He opened his mouth to protest, but she quickly shushed him with her finger.

"Nobody blames you for what happened. What's done is done. We've all suffered to some degree and it's by sticking together that we'll become stronger." There was a moment of silence before Harry spoke.

"But it's my fault." He told her. If Ginny wasn't trying to comfort Harry she would have lost her temper, but since that was the last thing that he needed, she kept her cool.

"Harry, if you had waited longer or if you had left, more people would have died. You don't have to stay in your own little bubble anymore. We care for you and we don't want to see you all alone." Harry had nothing to say to that. He was exhausted and he wanted to forget about all the suffering he had endured over the last seventeen years of life. Ginny got up and took the young man's hand in hers pulling him up.

"Come on, it's Christmas and we're all waiting for you. Mum made a feast and we better get there before she starts complaining." The red headed girl rolled her eyes as she imagined her mother's tirade and Harry had to crack a smile. Maybe everything wasn't lost yet and there was still hope for him on the Christmas day. He followed her out of the room and his smile widened. Things would fall back into place eventually.

**The End**

**Well I finished this on Christmas day so there. Yes, I have nothing better to do. You can say so if you please. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas or just a wonderful day if you don't celebrate the holiday. **

**I shall see you in the next year unless I get a really good idea, but I doubt it. Anyways, the ending of this fic wasn't what I had originally planed, but too bad. **

**Bye for now**

**Op **


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